Date night!

It is cold outside. At least, it was last night.

Rhapsody of Fire is blaring from the kitchen radio. At least, it was last night.

In my glass is Evil Twin's Ashtray Heart. It was last night, and it is this morning.

Traded for a pair of mid-calf boots from a bygone era of teen angst and highly questionable fashion, Ashtray Heart is a beer as unusual as the circumstances that brought it to my refrigerator. At first glance, it doesn't look all that different from its Imperial Stout brethren. It's not black, but it's a soul-sucking brown that traps all light that dare attempt to penetrate it. And it's got a fluffy mochachino head. It's the cutest.

But the smell. Oh, the smell. Best hide the kiddies, because things are about to get weird. Ashtray Heart has a scent to it that I just can't describe. It's like the bastard child of a campfire, a bowl full of assorted dark fruits, and plain ol' booze. Yeah, it's a little freaky. But hey, even the President of the Navy likes to get his bang on every now and then. So what the heck, let's see how she tastes!

Oh. Uh. Yeah. What? There's a lot to process here. Liquid smoke! Dates? Chocolate?? Alcohol! It's like my entire tongue has been trampled by some sort of liquid...trampling...device. I just can't figure this beer out! What I do know is that it tasted much better when sipped between bites of a fresh grilled chicken sandwich.

So if you're looking for advice: look elsewhere if you're not feeling adventurous, or if you're drinking alone. While I certainly don't regret the time that this beer and I have spent together, I don't think we'll be seeing each other again. There are plenty of options that are less expensive and less taxing on your taste buds. And let's face it - sometimes, I just like 'em cheap and easy.