Of Weasels and Excrement

“The weasels eat the coffee beans. Then they poop them out. Then they’re roasted.”

“……”

“The coffee beans. Not the weasels.”

“…………………oh. Okay?”

Mikkeller’s Beer Geek Brunch Weasel is, as its Danish heritage would suggest, a tricky beer to explain to those who are fascinated not by craft beer, exotic coffee, and weasels.

Officially classified as an American Imperial Stout, the uninquisitive beer drinker might simply glance at this bottle and expect another in a long line of coffee stouts. Oh, how wrong they are! This one has a magic ingredient: weasel poop. More specifically, Beer Geek Brunch Weasel is brewed with Ca Phe Chon, a Vietnamese coffee bean that is actually eaten and passed by cute little weasels.

For this particular bottle, I had to make sure the setting was just right. Beer? Check. Geek? Wearing my marching band pajamas; check. Brunch? It’s about 11:00 on a Sunday morning, and the waffle iron is running at full capacity. Check. Weasel? My “pitweasel” mug stands ready for a filling. Check.

Without further ado, I pour the beer out until a beautiful two finger, mocha colored head rests at the very top of the mug. The smell is right at home next to a plate of waffles –roasted coffee, with a little bit of caramel, chocolate, and vanilla in there as well. It’s a sweet smell, not like a cup of black coffee from the gas station, but more like something I would have shelled out $4 for at Earthtones.

The taste matches up closely with the smell, but it’s here that you remember that this is an alcoholic drink. Although the 10.9% ABV is extremely well masked, there’s a pleasant warmth from it that reminds you that this is, after all, an imperial stout. There’s not a hint of the off-putting alcohol heat that comes with many other beers of this style, which is a plus on this 60 degree spring morning.

The mouthfeel is, for the most part, outstanding. This is a thick and creamy stout with just enough carbonation to remind you that you’re drinking a beer, but not so much that you think it’s actually a flavored soda. For how thick this is, I thought I would see oatmeal listed in the ingredients. I was wrong.

Where this beer does take a turn, however, is in the finish. Not of each sip, but of the bottle itself. I don’t know what it’s from, but there’s a disconcerting sludge at the bottom of the glass that feels like…well…weasel poop. At least, what I imagine weasel poop might feel like. This is far different than the yeast clusters I’m used to getting in Belgian ales, and sadly, it meant that the last few drops would end up in the drain instead of my stomach.

Ending aside, Beer Geek Brunch Weasel is something I’d certainly consider buying more frequently, were it not for the limited availability and the roughly $15 a pint price tag. But to be fair, this beer did set a new record for me: from start to finish, I spent two hours on this single bottle. I’ve spent far more, in far less time, on trips to the bar before. So while it may seem like a pricey bottle, I can confidently say that I got my money’s worth.

I just hope the weasels are getting a share of the profits.